I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
