i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
