I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
