thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Sponge bath it is.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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