I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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