thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
