Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Farmville is her only friend.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize