Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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