No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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