But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
