i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
