that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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