I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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