I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
