I accidentally burped into my bong.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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