I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
