You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
