he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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