she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
