He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
