: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just high enough for therapy.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
