my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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