I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
