i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
