I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
