everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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