I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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