its not stalking. its research.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
