I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
