and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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