I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize