Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
