Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
