Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
