You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
