too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
and she was petting her beer can
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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