There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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