Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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