that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize