i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
