you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
