Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He shit in the fireplace
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
