He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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