Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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