Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
