Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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