no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
