Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
