Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
