I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
