I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
