But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
