how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
