And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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