In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
