i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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