god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
