i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
