I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
