Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
